Learning About Love

I think I understood love today

in the shape of tiny feet

tucked under a tiny body

a giggle 

a splash

of water at the kitchen sink

sheer elation in seeing

her walk, something

shared by homo sapiens

yet rendered me speechless.

It’s the sound of

Baaaa baaaa or moooo moooo

no logic

no rhyme

it’s wiping food off 

eager hands

perfectly full cheeks

and sometimes,

no often times,

from a heap of

curls.

It’s the moment

not the worry

not the plan

but just now

a tiny raise of an eyebrow

another giggle loose

a desire to explore

the contents of every drawer

she need not do

a thing.  No money is involved.

no talent required.

no idea passed on.

she simply exists

and I love her completely

for nothing other

then this. 

IRL

“I’m going to the bakery. Would you like anything?” I asked.

“You’re going out like that? You look homeless,” he said.

No, I thought.

It’s nearly 11:00 am.

I look like a woman who has changed a diaper, had a coffee, tended to emails.

I look like a woman with a Ph.D.

I look like a woman who preps her university lectures and graded a few assignments all before noon.

I look like a woman who produces a podcast, just having scheduled a guest, and researched more material.

And those spots of food on my sweatshirt? Those are badges of honor.

They are the signature of precious tiny hands reaching for me after having been nourished. They are evidence of my response to an embrace from a beautiful little blessing. I go by the name “mama.”

I look like a woman who didn’t prioritize fashion on a Tuesday morning because more important tasks await.

I look like a woman who provides, nurtures, and works.

I look like a woman comfortable in her own skin.

I look like a woman who invests her energy in ideas and creative endeavors.

I don’t look Instagram ready.

I look like a woman with ambition.

“So, did you want the usual from the baker or…”